Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It worked!

The title of today's post says it all . . . it worked! Our gestational carrier (GC) is pregnant! I went from being crazy anxious all weekend to numb and surrendered by the time Monday morning rolled around. I found out Monday around lunch time but waited until today to share as we wanted to receive the results from a follow up HcG test this morning. The second test ensures that the numbers are still climbing and our GC is still pregnant. I know I've been 'lying in the weeds' (as my mom would say) for the last couple of days, but we had to be sure.

I am so grateful for those of you who prayed, sent positive energy, thoughts, and love. We wouldn't be where we are today if it weren't for all of you. I've said it a million times, but God is so good! I put my faith in Him and he has brought us to this amazing, magical place. I also believe, with all of my heart, that our little Mila had a hand in all of this as well.

But, as we know all too well, the journey has just begun. More than ever, we need your prayers. While I trust God and the Universe more than I ever have, I have a feeling that Chris and I will spend the next eight months feeling terrified, worried, anxious, pushy, and neurotic at times. Please pray for our peace, acceptance, and trust. Please pray that our GC remains strong, healthy, and faithful.

We have been given the most amazing gift. Thank you for helping us get to this place, and for sharing this journey with us.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


We are waiting.

Last Thursday we had our embryo transfer. Out of eight viable eggs, we had seven embryos. Then, the eighth egg fertilized and started to divide. But then, the strangest thing, only two embryos made it to the transfer stage. We transferred those two embryos into our gestational carrier's uterus, and that is it. There were no embryos to freeze. This is our one and only chance to conceive our own baby. We find out if we are pregnant on October 8.

I can't believe I'm sharing all of this. I am fairly modest and private most of the time, but I have chosen to share some very intimate details of our life all of a sudden. In the past, we would never have shared publicly that we are trying to have a baby. When we did get pregnant, we didn't share until we were well into the second trimester. So, why share all of this now?

Our lives have become extraordinary. Our journey is too big to keep to ourselves. We need help, we need support, we need prayers. How else do we stay afloat without reaching out to others? What I realize is that everyone is going to want to know whether we are pregnant or not. Right away, over and over, I will have to share that, yes, the transfer worked and we are gratefully pregnant. Or, I will have to face the heart breaking reality as I share many times over that no, we did not get pregnant, and no, there will be no baby. I want to say, "Please don't ask me.", but I still need you. We will need help with this no matter what the outcome.

How about this?  I will post here, as soon as I am able, whether there is a baby or not. I may or may not go into details. I may or may not want to talk about it in person. Please let me be. Please know that my gratitude for the love and support we have been given is indescribable. Thank you, thank you.

"Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name." John 16:23